Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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