I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
