you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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