actually, I'm a sock model
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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