Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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