things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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