Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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