Duck Duck Cougar?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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