Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
