I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Only a mothe r could love this liver
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
