I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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