Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
