From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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