Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
