We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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