i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
