I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
