dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Apparently you make a good broom.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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