hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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