i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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