You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
