the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
