it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
