dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Randomize
