my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
