Betty ford says i'm here all night
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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