Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
