I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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