is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
