What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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