I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
