its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
