Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
