butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
