yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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