also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
