I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
