I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
