the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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