Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize