i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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