Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
