Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
