Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize