im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
