I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
