I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
