yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
