My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
