So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My vagina is officially offended.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
