I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
