I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
