I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
