I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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