I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
