FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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