bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
