you have to choose: penises or morals?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize