Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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