Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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