you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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